Let’s Rewrite Business Anecdotes

What if business anecdotes reflected a wider range of interests, responsibilities, and wins?

I’d like to first acknowledge that old school business anecdotes are largely being replaced by meme’s. And that’s great. The ‘home run’ style phrasing is antiquated and makes me want to ask if the speaker has a Werther’s Original for this chubby cheeked young whipper snapper. So by all means, if this post inspires some new anecdotes in you, then make them memes!

We’ve all heard that it’s a hole in one. A slam dunk. A home run. But how many of your colleagues are active golf, basketball, and baseball hobbiests? My guess is ‘none’. In the pursuit of diversity and inclusion, let’s have a look at how we can encourage new catch-alls for big wins that actually reflect the mouths speaking them.

If business is all about the bottom line, then perhaps you could look at these hobbies of business moguls as inspiration for the newest line of anecdotes However, a ‘billionaires’ list isn’t really reflective of the people to your left and right. A worthy aspiration, but let’s get real. Real real. The 27 most common hobbies worldwide are topped by entertainment in various forms. Number one on the list is ‘reading’. Great. The World needs active minds. The next time your team wraps up a big project, has the big launch, or produces anything with at least 1,225 pages of documentation then this is your chance! Stand at the precipice as a modernized anecdote pioneer and state ‘We completed War and Peace’! Win.

I’d like to add non-hobby based win’s, as well. Through absolute necessity I have obtained domestic abilities. My ranking in those abilities is TBD, but for now I can say that wins in the domestic category are underserved in our business anecdote acumen. Check out this robust chore list that will surely make you feel either inadequate or superior. I am not here to speak to the level of realism in this list. With my domestic ranking still TBD, I can best guestimate that following this list would mean that you never flinch at the idea of unexpected guests. That you’ve never muttered ‘sorry the place is a mess’ when you clearly know the guests were coming over and you just didn’t do this whole list. Lists around domestic duties will resonate with those who don’t have daily maid service. So the next time you are sitting in a meeting and someone is suggesting you run a test very similar to a test that was already run that confirmed the results of a previous test; simply speak up and say, ‘This feels like vacuuming when the bag is full. We’re getting nowhere.’. Your courageousness and relatability will keep you top of mind with leadership.

Though unlike the sports themed anecdotes, domestic duties don’t transpire after a heart pounding emotional rollercoaster. As seen in the previous example, it may be quite the opposite. In that case, perhaps these new anecdotes don’t need to be marginalized to a win-loss scenario. Potential categories for further exploration are:

• Futile exercise

Example: It’s like telling a toddler they can’t have ice cream

• Challenge

Example: Both kids have recitals at the same time, but we’ll make it work

• Waiting period

Example: The plumber says they’re on the way, but the basement is still flooded

• Ignoring contact, calls, email, etc.

Example: I’m just hiding in the bathroom for a few hours

You got this! Everyone knows you didn’t come this far to just follow the status quo. You’re dedicated and do what you say you’ll do. Everyone knows you didn’t take those left-overs home just to throw them out! Eat those left-overs!